Earlier today a picture of a father/daughter popped up on my Instagram feed. It was posted by Autism Speaks an organization that has a high visibility in the Autism community.. In the photo, a father is standing next to his daughter and he is wearing a red shirt that says, "Keep Staring It Might Cure My Child's Autism Then We Can Work On Your Social Skills"
I paused, re-read the t-shirt several times to make sure I was reading it correctly. I tensed up in frustration...I WANTED TO SCREAM (not only because of its lack of punctuation...but that's definitely annoying)
Seriously? I mean, REALLY? Is this what Autism Awareness is nowadays? Offending and alienating bystanders who may be curious about your child and/or not understand what they are seeing? To immediately present a rude and sarcastic (not even remotely funny or educational) statement on a t-shirt...I am stunned.
Maybe it's because I am so used to my son getting stared at, and I am beyond caring anymore. How other people look at my son is inconsequential. I don't wear my son's autism like a wound for which I feel other people should apologize. Humans are naturally curious and it doesn't take a typical bystander more than a few seconds to catch on and realize that my son Emmett is operating on a totally different level than everyone else...and if they find that entertaining, I hope they enjoy the free show...but I am NOT going to chastise, belittle, or say something rude (or let my t-shirt say it for me) in response to them looking...
...because how would that be raising "Autism Awareness" in a POSITIVE and WELCOMING way?
Yes, I know my son is 6'5" and flapping his hands like he might take flight any second...have a look - he's happy. PLEASE LOOK AT HIM. Yes, that's my son, carrying an arm full of stuffed animals through the grocery store...they are his best friends. PLEASE LOOK AT HIM. Yes, that's my son, loudly reciting hundreds of animal names in alphabetical order while our families are all waiting for the waitress to bring us our food...he's hungry. PLEASE LOOK AT HIM. Yes, that's my son, big and tall and all 260 pounds of him throwing himself on the ground having a meltdown because he is so frustrated about something and he doesn't have the functional language skills to express himself using words...PLEASE LOOK AT HIM.
Look at him. PLEASE. Please - I won't think you are rude - stare all you want...and LEARN something: he's different, beautifully different...different in infinite ways that even I - the woman who gave birth to him and knows him better than anyone else - can even possibly grasp. I understand why you want to look, and I don't care - because when you look at him you are learning something: you are observing that this human is having a good/bad/happy/angry moment. You are seeing me (or any member of my family) interact with him in a patient, loving way. You are becoming AWARE that children like this exist in our community...maybe you already know one...maybe one day you will.
So, please, stare at my son all you want.
You are such a gift to everyone Jenipher and Emmett!
ReplyDeleteSo well written, as I would expect. I hope everyone shares this!
ReplyDeleteYour son is so handsome. When I first saw this post, I didn't think much of the shirt in question. It reminds me of my friend's son's "I have Down Syndrome, what's your excuse?". However, he is 13 and has the smiles to back it up!
ReplyDeleteI do get the frustration of having people stare. My son is only two and sometimes I hate how people look at him. Particularly the folks who look at him like it is sad to see boy so young in a walker. What they don't know is that its a miracle that he is even doing that at all!
I absolutely agree with you on how you feel about that shirt. It is best to spread awareness with a smile to those who are curious and forget about the rest!